My life is a series of repeating cycles in some ways. Things keep coming around to me until I get the lesson in them, then they wander off. Such is the experience with events, but thankfully it's not been that way with friends.
Ever notice that answers come in the most eerie ways? Without turning this blog into the online journal that my previous blogs were, suffice it to say that lately I've been harboring the same secret questions in my heart and mind. They are there when I fall asleep, they remain when I wake. The theme is history. And...being forgotten. With each year that passes and I grow older and wiser, I find myself wondering...have I touched lives in the way I wanted to? Will I be remembered in a way that feels good to me? Will it feel good to them? Is that anything I can change for the better? Do the people I have loved...love me? It's a vulnerability I don't share much, but it's one that I suspect we all have.
I've found that when I chew on something, if I sit and listen and observe things around me, the answers to the questions I stew over are almost always answered. Sometimes it's corny or feels a bit contrived, but there is no doubt that it's more than coincidence that these answers come in the most unusual ways.
From the new television series "Once Upon A Time..." - "if you love something, and it truly loves you...it comes back to you."
From an old friend that I've recently reconnected with: "time doesn't matter. It's never the amount of time that counts between people. It is the quality of the connection."
That last one is significant, mostly because it was a connection that I thought about throughout the years and then suddenly, there we were, talking and catching up after a nearly 15 year gap. There were no awkward differences to get over. It was just the communion of two spirits whose lives went in two different directions - just because. As is the way with some friendships, we literally picked up where we left off. Catching up. He was stunned by the pottery, I was stunned with the personal journey he went on and how its helped him become an even more grounded and aware man/father/husband/community leader. We picked up exactly where we left off when our lives went in different directions. And at the end of our conversation I felt as if I received another big reminder about the power of connections...and rebuilding them.
What warmed my heart most is, he remembered all the things that I remembered. Perhaps I enriched and challenged his life as much as he enriched and challenged mine. We picked up all our old jokes and our conversational cadence. It reminded me...when you have that sort of repoire with someone, it never goes away. No matter the time lost. I never lost my friend. I never lost this brotherly tie that helped me sort out my professional and social aspirations. I never lost this friend who could make me laugh until tears were running and my sides were aching. Even when it wasn't there. It was. It never left.
I don't know for certain what my future holds, but I feel a bit better about my ties and the ones that bind. Thanks Universe. I needed that. More than I would ever admit.