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Disclaimer: These are my thoughts, my beliefs and my interpretations. They may or may not be true for you, but they are for me - and thus not open for correction, amendment or clarification.
Next week will wrap up yet another mercury retrograde. (The 26th of August to be exact). Whether or not you believe in all the lore associated with mercury and it's proclivities, it seems these periods of planetary shifting always bring up some stuff for me. Let me put my tin foil hat aside for just a moment, and share an interesting moment that occurred during this one.
For me, Retrogrades always seem to turn me inward, rooting around in the recesses of my life's story, to unravel mysteries that still haunt me. They almost always center around the chinks in my personal armor. Personal insecurities, struggles with the skewed perspectives, old ego bruises and fears both real and imagined always seem to rear their ugly head.
There is a common theme to the things that come up for me during these times. I was lamenting that to a friend earlier this week - and she helped to put my concerns in perspective. I used to think that the things coming up for me during MR were bold, flat, ugly truths, peeking through and telling me the truth of me - whether I wanted to hear it or not. I thought my job with MR was to digest this ugly content and try to accept what I hadn't been accepting. Her reaction to that was, "heaven's no. NOTHING is clear in a retro. Everything is skewed, especially communication. Things cripple and stumble and breakdown during this time, why wouldn't your thoughts do the same?"
Her stance was, instead of viewing what bubbles up as "the facts of life," perhaps consider that those things bubbling up are perceptions and views that need to be retired. Put away and left to fall off, like dying leaves on a tree - rather than unwithering truths trying to break through the darkness. When I looked at it that way, I realized two things:
1. I've been fighting the wrong battles. A habit I've had for far too long.
2. Thoughts that torture my heart and mind I'm READY to have fall off. But I have to go through the exercise of retiring them. I've been fighting off the healing that MR is trying to bring me.
As I reflect back on that conversation, I try to mark those empty hurtful thoughts that lurk still in places I was sure I swept clean. Without baring too much in this space, suffice it to say, I asked the powers at be a question. I offered up a hurt and left it to the wind to provide an answer.
And then today, while moving through my work day, I saw a random thought pass by my eye.
Real friends survive the test of time, distance, and long periods of silence.
I just have two words to offer in response to that.