Hand building. Wheel throwing. Judged competitions. Craft shows. Holiday shelf stocking. Creating my own studio space.
These are just a few of the things moving around my mind when it comes to pottery. Combine those with the realities of work, community and personal life planning...and I'm all over the place. That makes me grumpy, gives me a bit of anxiety and greatly disturbs my creative process.
I keep stopping along this journey, glancing back over my shoulder as if to say, "is this where I'm supposed to be?" And then I wait, for confirmation on which direction I want to turn next. Ironically, with work and most other things, I don't like being told what to do. I like to pursue what feels natural to me. However, I don't want to get complacent with this craft. And I'm also well aware of one of my life challenges...to allow other people (with more experience) to give me advice. I have a few potter pals urging me to participate in showings, to take my work to the next level. I have others encouraging me to consider how hand building training could potentially enhance my wheel work. I have others helping me put out feelers on picking up a used wheel, a decent kiln and mapping out my own studio space. All great stuff, but right now all those ideas feel like a giant marching band on homecoming weekend. All great sounds, but all really loud and coming at me at once.
This past Sunday, I sat in the studio at my wheel...and I felt a little uninspired. I wanted to throw. And I managed to eek out a few sake cups and some goblets. But the entire time I kept thinking...I want to just...make stuff. Without planning. Without vision. And without care.
In my work life, I'm an idea person. I like to come up with concepts, and visions, but the detail work makes me want to rip my hair out. And when I'm uninspired yet forced to do those detail items that don't directly relate to my vision...I get crabby.
Right now, I think having some patience with myself...my art...and my goals is in order. Despite all the time I "feel" like I've been at this...the reality is, I am still young in my pottery pursuits. Rome wasn't built in a day. My dreams won't be either.
My motivation right now is...to keep producing and let the rest fall into place.